I'm getting married in ten days.
Just thought I'd write that down and see if it actually sinks in...
....nope.

A new favorite, curtesy of my "Art a Day" feature on igoogle from a while back.  

Can I just state for the record that I think it's lame for facebook to "upgrade" at any point close to lunch hour. I have a rutine, ok! I leave the lunch room a little before my break is actually over and peruse through the fun stuff. Catch up on my fashion (careful doing this in your own office if you follow the link- I've been known to laugh out loud and I'm guessing it makes you appear a little odd to the co-workers when you sit in your office alone chuckling). Then, do a wee facebook stop by. I have new pictures to view, a newly married friend (and serious former high school crush) to congratulate, other people's wedding photos to snoop through...it was going to be a lovely few moments. But, nooooooooooooo, denied.
Anyway, so I'm pittering away my last few moments of "lunch" to look through some more art that makes me happy

Georgeous, huh?
Did you know that the quote "from the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step", is by Napoleon?
I think that's sort of facinating. I never really thought about that quote, but I think it's particularly interesting in light of who said it. I think often we (or I guess I should say, I) think of Napoleon and picture- short, stubby, shrill-voiced, power-hungry, violent, and maybe a little immature. Ridiculous if you will, and I think he had some elements of the ridiculous. But sometimes I forgot to remember that he was a powerful and obviously very skilled general, he ruled a vast kingdom up until it was wrenched from him. He pretty much changed the course of European history. I think David captures that here. And with the wind and the color and that beautiful face, it's, well- sublime.  

Napoleon also said, "Death is nothing; but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily"
Pretty true, I think.

I know these lovely quotes because Ryan and I were on the way home from the beach the other day and whiling away some highway time with a little trivia book. And I would like to state for the record that he was at first hugely unenthusiastic about my nerdy love of trivia on road trips, but once we got started with music trivia and political history all I heard was "more! give me another one!".  It was kind of fun to see how our knowledge base was really different. Give me ancient World History or the Civil War any day over composers and "what president had the shortest term in office" (It's William Henry Harrison, in case you were wondering- 30something days in office before he died) It was a fun road trip.

This is by an artist I discovered through my art history class this past fall. Angelica Kauffman was a neoclassical painter (late 18th/early 19th century). This painting was part of our class and I loved not just the beauty of the images, but also the story. 
Cornelia is a Roman noblewoman, she is married to a high-ranking political and military officer and together they have 12 children, however only three survive childhood. In this story her friend and fellow noblewoman shows off her fancy dress and necklace then asks Cornelia, "where are your jewels?"
Cornelia points to her sons and says, "these are my jewels".
 

Cornelia, Mother of the Gracchi, Pointing to her Children as Her Treasures

circa 1785

Angelica Kauffman (Swiss, 1741-1807; active England 1776-1781)

The book assumes the reader is ignorant, ignorant in a lot of areas. It assumes absolutely no knowledge about art, church, history, France, languages- and I'm talking really basic information here. It takes its fictional Harvard professor/writer, genius French police symbologist, and famed English historian and writer and has them say things as though they were not simplistic beginner statements of the obvious. The book "teaches" on every page, it seems to claim that if it didn't tell you even the simplest things you wouldn't know. Or, it assumes you wouldn't care. Yes, it's supposed to be fiction, but fiction that includes true historic people, places and events must cling to some level of truth. For example, the book makes a big deal about a couple of specific elements of Leonardo DaVinci's art, namely, his use of triangles and his depiction of John and apostle as female. Ok, yes, I'm interested in art history so maybe I'm perhaps more likely to know something about this, but the only actual training or education I've had on the topic is one very mediocre college intro level art history survey. And yet even just in that simple class we learned that triangles were a prominent feature in all Renaissance art, as is a feminine depiction of John (because he's supposed to be young, and many artists seem obsessed with the idea that young men are feminine in look and demeanor- let's not even get started on that cultural and artistic concept...) Look at Donatello, Botticelli, Michelangelo, heck- any Renaissance artists and you'll see---- triangles and that one disciple that looks like a chick. It's just there, and if DaVinci is somehow one of this teeny group of elites who "know the secret" then maybe the author should have picked some characteristics that were a little more unique to Leo's art as his literary devices supposed to shock and challenge our view of reality and truth.   It ignores and belittles the beautiful artistic masterpieces of dozens of DaVinci's contemporaries to give him credit for these two particular Renaissance trends in art.

Also- all this damn focus on the "sacred feminine" and how the church has emphasized the male. Ok, I think it is fair and easy to say that the church (heck, much of global culture in general) has emphasized male power, control, intelligence, leadership, and spiritual wisdom – and perhaps attempted to convince the world that men have a monopoly on these traits. You know what the historic church (painting with a serious broad brush here, please forgive me for over-generalizing for the sake of being concise, I'm referring mostly to the Western Catholic church prior to this Century, with plenty of notable exceptions in both directions) has emphasized about women? Motherhood, purity, sexuality, beauty, earthiness, softness, gentleness etc. Often to the detriment of real human beings who don't alway fit into a mold. Yet, what does Dan Brown claim was oppressed? The concept of "sacred feminine", and how does he describe it? Pretty much using the exact same adjectives I’ve just used to describe the way the church has seemingly defined women. Boo on you for thinking you're original. In fact, it's really fascinating. The way the author describes Mary Magdalene... If you took out the Magdalene and the fake historic context almost every single reference the priory of Sion and their reverence for this "wife of Christ" could be interchanged with a description of the Catholic Church's idolatry of Mary- almost without exception. Not only was the Church for many years not content to Worship and communicate with God only through Christ, they were not content to only worship a deity who revealed himself into our finite understandings using male gendered terms and contexts, but they felt (I believe) the need to balance with veneration of female saints and the worship of Mary. Even those who thought it was a sin for a woman to use her brain would pray to the mother of Christ.

Ash Wednesday has passed but I've been thinking of those words a lot. Because, quite frankly- ashes, I feel.

The human body is an amazing thing, complex and beautiful and capable of incredible incredible things. It's a gift from God and a beautiful and central part of his creation. But, as with the rest of this world the corruption of sin and the fall has crept its slimy hands across this beautiful creation and breaks it, sometimes tiny pieces at a time.

My body doesn't work very well. Oh, I know, in the grand scheme of things it's great and I shouldn't complain. I am healthy, mobile, have all my senses (in varying degrees of reliability), my mind works, I can communicate, sing a little, dance a little, run (slowly)… too many things to count. I'm grateful for this body and I wouldn't trade it for any other, honestly (I wouldn't mind if it was thinner but I'm not willing to take a different body to make that possible). But it just doesn't really  work that well.  With spine/back issues, ear and eye issues, pain in weird places, and a lot of issues with my singing voice, I feel like my body isn't keeping up with my desires and joys- my life goals and the things I love to do.

There are a lot of ways in which I participate in these problems, and things I can do to "cure them". Eat healthy and exercise, don't wear my contacts too many hours, don't forget to put my ear drops in, take voice lessons to learn good healthy technique or shell out the big bucks for a fancy doctor that would send a camera down my throat and tell me what the problem really is. None of which is too terribly difficult or a great trial.  But, I feel like it's always fighting an uphill and losing battle. And it is in a way. I will never be a professional dancer, singer, or athlete. Neither will most people, and that's ok. But it's hard to fight always against this body. I know you all know what I'm talking about. You can all talk about your own physical battles- illnesses, idiosyncrasies, little ticks and problems here and there that constrict you.

Someday we will cease to even be able to battle. I visit my grandparents and watch what age has done to my grandmother. It took her memory a while ago and with that went so many other faculties. She doesn't walk, it pains her to sit up for very long, her hands are weak, he legs are so skinny they look like you could snap them like a twig. Her stomach doesn't hold much food, and her hair lies thin and flat and white against her head. She just seems generally uncomfortable often. She cries easily and sleeps more than anything else. She has good days too, still has a stubborn streak and a pretty decent sense of humor. But, she too, is fighting that losing battle and it's heart-wrenching to watch.

And these are just the regular things we all face. I'm not talking about true physical deformities, illness such as cancer, blindess, AIDS...

C.S. Lewis always talks about how we are not made for this world. We all have longing, deep and pressing that tells us- this can't really be it. I think they come to us as small children in imaginary worlds and in really good books with beauitful pictures. I know that's how it was for me. I know that I am happy here, I have so many wonderful blessing on this earth, I complain about my body but really- it's a miracle that I'm living breathing thinking doing, and I'm grateful. I hope to live a long life surrounded by people I love and serving the Lord and his people. I hope I remain healthy, I appreciate the amazing beauty of God's creation of earth and I hope to enjoy it for many years to come. But, some glad morning when this life is over- I'll fly away- leave this corrupted broken shell of a soul casing behind and never miss it for a second.

The other day for work I sent the following email 

This is the response I received this morning (with minor edits for privacy's sake)
"here is our email address. but it seems you already have it.  Anyway.   thankyou@captainobvious.hello"

riiiiiiight. Ok, in all fairness, upon revision I realized I didn't specify that we already had email addresses, or that the newsletter is by post only. But, I sort of thought that was self-evident seeing as how I was emailing this request.
That brought me a wee laugh this morning so I thought I'd share.

I don't really have anything to say but I'm sort of stretching out the end of my lunch break and wishing I could wake up a little.
I started to write the 'ol New Year's resolutions post some time last week but never really finished.
You know what's the most fun about New Year's resolutions? The chance to make a list. I'm big on lists, I have a whole journal dedicated solely to lists. It makes me feel organized somehow, helps me remember things. I never really thought of lists as being something fun until I saw the movie The Interpreter. What a great film. There is a scene between Nicole Kidman (who is normally on my give-me-a-break-nobody's-legs-should-be-that-long-nobody's-skin-should-be-that-perfect list, but who I actually really like in this film) and Sean Penn and she's telling him about her brother. Sean Penn asks, "what's he into"
"he's into lists" she answers, "he likes lists"
She said he keeps them in ratty notebooks, things like weird animal facts and words he likes the sounds of ("doodad, hypotenuse "). I love that, I never thought my obsession with lists could perhaps have a creative outlet. Inspired, I expanded my little notebook of "things to do before Monday" and "People I need to email" into "paintings I want to see in person" "cities to visit" " "concerts attended" and the like. Maybe not as interesting as a list of odd sounding words, but it brings me joy. And of course I still have the always important "things to do before Monday", we can't just let all boring organization go to hell for the sake of some fun. Although...that sounds nice. 

That was all a while ago, now I'm waiting on a website I need to stop acting wonky...while I wait...

If this isn't a sassy lady I just don't know who is. I wanna go swing.

Jean Honore Fragonard
The Swing, 1766, oil on canvas,

I do hereby state that as I am no longer a student and not longer required to read things I do not wish to, or required to read things in general I want to return to my former love and read things for fun, for me.

It is my goal over the coming months of non-studentdom that I will read as many  works as humanly possible written by C.S. Lewis and Dorthy L. Sayers

So saith I





You should all go see the Louvre exhibit at the High Museum. And while you're at it enjoy the other exhibits at the High museum. I hadn't been in many years and didn't realize what an awesome collection (particularly of 19th and early 20th centruy American art) we have here in Atlanta. Bravo, it was fun. Fun actually isn't a good enough word, it was soul soothing, and fun.

What a peaceful day. I spent the morning with a book and a walk and lunch with my book at the Candler Park Market, walked to the train station, spent the afternoon at the museum, walked from there almost all the way back to GSU when Ryan picked me up. We went to see his neice win an award at school and then had dinner with Avery (the neice), Ryan's sister Jennifer (Avery's mom) and her fiance Todd. Avery's the coolest little girl, loads of personality in a very small person. She really likes Eleanor Roosevelt. She's seven years old, how many seven year olds who still eat ketchup with pretty much every meal like to read about Eleanor Roosevelt? She's cool and I enjoy her company immensly. It's always a nice time with Ryan's sister and brother-in-law to be as well, they're a neat couple. A lot like Ryan and I actually in a funny way- but backwards- Ryan's like Jennifer and I'm like Todd. We laugh a lot which is always fun.
Is it sad that I'm a little sore from my walking yesterday? Well, it was worth it. Seriously, I highly recommend the exhibit at the High. And the "Drawings" portion of it is only here until February so you should get to it :)

Well...um...I'm filling in at the front desk. Not the most exiting of my jobs here, but then again maybe it is in a way.
I really only do this once in a blue moon, I'm actually the third string so two people have to be gone to make this my job. Which basically means...I don't actually know what I'm doing.
Your average afternoon at the front desk involves answering the phone, transferring calls around the office, and helping people that walk into the lobby. Sounds simple right? This is World Relief, we don't really do simple. Which is what makes it fun, but also what makes it an exercise in humility.
The phone rings, "good afternoon this is world relief"
And the someone on the other end mutters something unintelligible through a beautiful but impossible to comprehend foreign accent.

“I’m sorry, you’d like to speak to whom?”

Reply comes with just the slightest edge of annoyance and hopefully I catch it this time and can transfer. Problem is if that person is not available an enormous percentage of those calling don’t leave a message, they call right back to talk to me again.

“I asked to speak to so in so”

“Yes, I put you through to his/her office. Did he/she not pick up?”

“No. Is he/she there today?”

This is a harder question to answer than you might think. People are constantly in and out here, I really have no way of knowing who is in the office at a given moment. So, my options are the dreaded intercom or just tell them to leave a voice mail message. Our regular front desk person, Sue, is not remotely afraid of the intercom. Her confident voice booms through every room of the building at fairly regular intervals throughout the day. My voice doesn’t boom often. From time to time it tentatively whispers over the intercom but I’m a big fan of people being in their office when they get a call so that I don’t have to experience that unpleasantness.

The other big part of this job is handing out paper work. The front desk is in front of a big bookshelf containing forms that say things like “I-129F Petition for K3 Visa (Spouse of USC)”. Right. So I’m supposed to understand enough about that so that when someone comes in and says, “I want to bring my wife here” I know what to give them.  Most people want green card application and citizenship forms and that sort of thing. They are crazy hard to follow at times, English is my first language and I have to read things about a million times for them to make sense. The other day when I was up here a Turkish man came in with some paperwork he had received in the mail from DFCS that he didn’t understand. I stand up smiling and reach out for the letter thinking my good deed of the day will be to help this poor foreign man understand his mail. So, remember what I said about exercise in humility? I was baffled by his letter and had to run down the hall for help from someone far more knowledgeable than myself. Well, in the end his letter was explained and he and I both learned a thing or two about food stamps and travel loans. It was great. I’m learning a lot here on a daily basis.

Got to go…the phone is ringing

.

I'm in a wee lull at work. It's funny how that happens, things seem to come in waves around here. I'll have an hour or two that are almost hard to fill with things and then WOOSH! A million things will happen at once and I'll run around like a chicken with its head cut off. At the moment I'm in one of the down times. Waiting on phone calls to be returned, hoping someone will call and say "YES, Melinda, I would LOVE to translate Khmer (Cambodian) to English for your meeting this afternoon! I am flexible in schedule and willing to do it for free!" Yup, that would be nice.

I did something way cool on Saturday. For my Oral history class we were assigned to interview someone about their career. It's our first interview assignment, just sort of to get our feet wet with the interview process. Well, I decided to jump in head first and interview Florence Kopleff. She's amazing. Florence was a rather famous singer from the 50's onward. She was one of the earliest members of the Robert Shaw Chorale. For those who don't know Robert Shaw was the ASO conductor for several years, but he also is probably the most famous name in choral music in America, big-time conductor and arranger etc. He discovered Florence, in high school in New York. She had had no formal vocal training until he asked her to join the chorale and became her "mentor" as she calls him. She toured with the chorale and solo all over the world. Her stories are amazing. When Robert Shaw came to Atlanta to work with the ASO she moved here as well and the man who started the school of music at Georgia State convinced her to come teach voice for the school. She taught voice for GSU for 30 years. I was able to interview her because when my mom was a grad student she spent a lot of time with Dr. Raines helping her with things around the house. She's an old woman now, and has trouble walking, so Dr. Raines for a few years spent a lot of time just taking care of things for her. My mom has taken over a lot of that duty- going to the grocery store with her etc. So when I got this assignment I asked mom if she thought Miss Kopleff would let me interview her. Mom asked her at first for me and said her initial response was to say no because "I don't like talking about myself". But after thinking about it she agreed to let mom give me her number. When I spoke to her she was all willing graciousness to do it.
She's just a fascinating woman, full of dignity and wisdom but with a sort of wry and wicked since of humor in a way. She's a contralto- the lowest of female voices- and you can hear that in her speaking voice. Her house is full of things she's collected from all her international tours. Who knows the things she's seen. It's just amazing.
The timing is actually really fun too because she's going to be on NPR (well, some of her recordings are) tonight and next Monday night. I highly recommend giving it a listen- 9:00pm on 90.1
Back to work…

Whoa! I'm gone for a few short weeks and lj goes and changes their whole format- we're so hip and cool and smooth now! I have a little empty blank face staring back at me saying "upload a userpic". Well, I don't wanna at this point, sorry.
So...
I love my job. I started at World Relief almost three weeks ago now. It's FLOWN by, crazy busy but awesome. My first "case" arrived from Cambodia a week ago, her name is Sothy. She's a political refugee who had to flee Cambodia because she witnessed the assassination of a controversial labor leader, it's an interesting story. I'm still not exactly sure why/how she qualified for refugee status but they definitely got her out of there quick. She's a delightfully adorable and feisty little lady. She speaks a little English quite well actually but is constantly claiming "Oh Melinda, I can't speak...a little" . She gets her pronouns a little confused. When we talk about when I'm going to come by to see her I say
"I will be at your house at 1:00pm" and she answers nodding profusely "yes, yes, I will wait for her, one o'clock, her come one o'clock to my house" Well, at least I know she understands the general idea. She's incredibly eager to learn English and get a job, I'm so exited to watch her so eagerly dive into life here. I can't imagine how difficult and lonely it is to come this far all on her own and start a brand new life but she's taken it with gusto. She's started memorizing what street signs mean because she wants to learn English, get a job, make money, and learn to drive- in that order. Not a bad order I think :) So we were driving down the road today and she would point and say "speed limit 55" or "red means stop, yellow caution, blue means...GO"
"green" I would sneak in quitely
"OH YES MELINDA, GREEN means GO!"
She's incredibly intelligent, and so delightfully cheerful. I really lucked out. Most case managers don't exactly have it this easy. Today I told Tina that Sothy was up in my office checking her email and she said "I hate you" as she was juggling paperwork, school supplies, official papers, apartment lease info, and a million other things for a Bantu family of 11. She probably should hate me.
Have I mentioned how awesome it is to be around Tina again? Living with her in Niger was so awesome and I've missed being around her, now she's just right downstairs. The other day I took my lunch down to her office and just sat with her and spilled my guts a bit. As always, she made me laugh and spoke incredible wisdom into my life.
So job is awesome, school is good, relationship is bringing me joys and blessings daily, friends are a delight near and far, and...I have a car! YAY! A beautiful little used Honda Civic that entered my life at exactly the right moment. Life right now is busy and complicated and overflowing with a million things clamoring for my time and attention which can be hard and even stressful but it really couldn't be better.